Libby's Journal - June

June 3

Last night some of us gathered at a bar where they do karaoke, so we heard lots of bad drunken singing. Mona kept encouraging me to go up because she knows I have a pretty good voice. I don't know much about music or even what key I'm in, but I know what I can sing and what I can't sing. I have found that I can do Linda Ronstadt songs pretty well. Obviously I'm not as good as her, but our voices are similar enough fundamentally.

So, I finally went up (and got some whistles because I happened to be wearing a skimpy outfit). I went through the Linda Ronstadt options and picked "Blue Bayou." That one starts out low and easy so I could get comfortable with it before the chorus -- and that's when I definitely got the crowd's attention because I was really belting it out like Linda does. The song ends with a high note that is optional if you're just singing karaoke, but I went for it and nailed it, holding it a long time.

When I ran out of breath, the crowd cheered and gave me a standing ovation. Then later a guy came to our table and said he represented several bands that might be interested in hiring me. I was suspicious that it might just be his pickup line, but he did have a business card so I took it.

When we got home, Mona looked the dude up on her computer and he was legit. Not that I will actually call, but it's nice when something like that happens. When I was 17 and at the mall with my mom, a woman approached us and asked if I had done any modeling. That lady gave us a business card too, but we didn't pursue it. Heck, maybe I coulda been a famous movie star by now.

* * * * *

June 6

Andrea and Dana have been living with us the past few months but will be moving out soon because their house is nearly finished and their wedding is less than two weeks away.

Contrary to what certain people expected, we all have gotten along just fine during this time. Last night, the four of us had a wonderful time slow-dancing, which we have been doing regularly in preparation for their reception. It had been a hot day, and we spent most of the evening in the pool drinking and didn't go inside until it got full dark. We were all pretty drunk and still dripping wet when Mona declared we should practice our dancing, to which we all agreed. I put on our playlist, and we coupled up in the darkened dining room lit only by moonlight coming in the windows.

Part of the time we danced with our actual partners and part of the time I danced with Andrea while Mona danced with Dana. Although we had done this many times before, this time all of us were naked, wet and drunk so that made it more exciting. Back when Mona and I first got together, Dana was quite shy, particularly around Mona, whom she found intimidating, so Mona made it her mission to woo Dana into being comfortable with her. That was accomplished a long time ago and nowadays those two have an adorably flirty relationship.

So we were all dancing naked in the moonlight. Our skin had somewhat air dried but our hair was sopping, so pool water continued to trickle down our skin.

And then Dana got a boner.

I didn't realize it at first because Mona was holding her close, but then Dana pushed away from her, a look of panicked embarrassment on her face. That's when I saw it, standing tall. But Mona handled the situation perfectly, pulling Dana back into her embrace and continuing the dance.

That turned out to be the last song of the playlist and when the music stopped we all decided it must be time for another drink. But Dana still had an erection and was keeping her hands in front of it until Mona and I each took one of her arms and marched her into the kitchen where the light was on, and we could all see her boner -- and her blush -- both of which she retained for quite a while.

It was a lovely evening, and I feel oddly sad thinking about it because they will be moving out soon. I know, of course, it is ridiculous of me to feel that way because their new house is right here on the property barely a 10-minute walk away so obviously we will continue to have evenings like this and there is no reason to be sad about it. Like my brain, my heart sometimes behaves irrationally.

* * * * *

June 8

Today was hot and humid, and about noon, I got it into my head to widen one of my flower gardens by one foot (for crazy reasons that aren't worth explaining), and because I was in a manic mood with energy to burn, I got to work. I did have the sense to take a jug of water out there (because I have gotten dehydrated before). The sun was on me because I could not just wait until later in the day when it would be shady, nope, can't do that.

So, it was hard, sweaty work, but I needed to be exerting myself at something that was (a) physically demanding and (b) a meaningful task whose endpoint I can see approaching as I work. Sometimes I do generic "exercise" by running or hiking the trails, but other times that feels too meaningless to me, and I just have to do something that is actual labor on a real task.

When I am in such a mood, of course, I am laser-focused on the mission and consequently am not real good at remembering things like (a) what time it is, (b) to take with me the cell phone Mona bought me for this purpose, (c) to occasionally check the answering machine in the house in case Mona called to remind me of something and couldn't reach me on my cell phone, or (d) that on my calendar it said in my own handwriting, "Mona's co-workers 3 p.m."

Coincidentally, it was right about that time when I completed my stupid strenuous task in the brutal heat and was walking over to the house intending to throw myself into the pool. However, my hands and feet were muddy, as were parts of my body wherever I had touched myself during my labor. And, of course, I was dripping and shiny with sweat. So first I was going to spray the dirt off of me with the garden hose on the patio so I would not get dirt in the pool.

This was just about the only thing on my mind as I kicked off my shoes and walked around the corner -- nearly colliding with Mona's three co-workers, to whom she was giving a little tour.

"And there she is now!" Mona exclaimed with a laugh that meant she knew I would completely forget about this, and had probably predicted it to her co-workers when she couldn't reach me all day.

Fortunately, I had at least met these three women in business suits before when I visited Mona downtown, but they had not actually seen me naked before (because heck, I nearly always remember to put clothes on before I go places). I knew Mona had told them about me because she always tells people about me. When I meet someone new, they always say something like "Mona has told me SO much about you," and it's not just about me being a naturist, though she always tells people what to expect if she invites them over, but also about my art and other things. She has one of my big sunflower paintings in her office and next to it a photo of me standing at my easel nude. Mona took the photo from behind after calling my name to get me to turn my head. So the only thing you see is my butt and a bit of side boob.

Still, I was embarrassed as I hurriedly got the garden hose going to spray myself off while babbling an apology about losing track of the time. The hose had no nozzle attached so I used my thumb to make the spray. I wasn't embarrassed that they were seeing me naked, of course, but that they were seeing me so unattractively dirty and sweaty. When it comes to being sweaty, there's a fine line between whether that is appealing or unappealing. If you were already clean and then got sweaty dancing or something, that is sexy. But I had not yet taken a shower that day and was caked in mud, so I did not feel at all attractive. I wished Mona would lead them off on their tour while I did this, but she is always tickled when her friends are seeing me nude for the first time, so she kept them all standing there chatting 10 feet from me while I washed. The three co-workers seemed happy to have found themselves in this situation as they raved about my flower gardens and the general beauty of our property.

My original intention had been to just spray off the mud from my feet and hands and then get in the pool, but now it made sense to just finish cleaning up with the hose. The water had started out warm from the sun but was now quite cold, making my nipples pucker as I held the hose over my chest and my shoulders and my head to let the cold water pour on me while I used my other hand to rub my skin. It's a little awkward to wash your underarms that way so Mona stepped up and held the hose for me as I did that. She turned me around and washed my back for me, sliding her hand all over me, and then she turned me around again and grinned mischievously as she splashed more water on my front pretending she was just touching up up a few spots while she slid her hand wetly on my body while the co-workers watched in rapt silence.

Mona turned off the water and I was dripping wet as I led everyone into the kitchen to get the platters out of the refrigerator. As I did so, I gave Mona an exaggeratedly smug look because I knew she probably thought I had forgotten this part also. But in fact I had prepared the hors d'oeuvres and the cheese-and-veggies plate in the morning right after Mona left because it was a task to be performed and I was fired up to perform tasks that needed to be performed so of course I did that.

While I was attending to the platters (leaving wet bare footprints on the tile floor as I moved around), Mona poured wine for everyone and told them about all the work I have done on the house and grounds since we moved in. When I was all done getting things set up, Mona handed me a glass of wine and put her arm around my wet body, giving me a squeeze. The women were all making effusive little sounds of praise over all the stuff I have done. One of them just said, "so amazing."

Mona smiled at me, her eyes glistening, and said, "she sure is."

June 17

Well, Andrea and Dana's marriage went off just perfectly and now they are in Southern California on their honeymoon. Andrea lived in LA one summer during college and she loves Santa Monica and Venice Beach so that's where they're staying, but they plan to rent a car and drive a bit also.

For the past several days all three houses here have been packed with visitors. We had about 100 people here for the wedding, but many of them were local. Mostly it was family members staying over, plus some of their old friends who don't live around here.

The night before the wedding we had a "bachelorette party" for both brides together over at Andrea and Dana's new house. They haven't even officially moved in and some of the interior work is still being done. But we made sure a few items of furniture were taken over for party purposes -- including their bed of course. The various parents and older or male relatives were all staying at my house and at Jayne and Margot's house down by the road. Jack is still in Oregon visiting his family and he gave us permission to put a guest or two in his house, but we ended up not needing to do that.

Anyways, Andrea and Dana's new house was the designated location for Serious Partying, which is what we did. It was all girls, and nearly all gay girls, so you can imagine the scene. Naturally, Mickey and Raygan were there (as I've mentioned elsewhere, Mickey, Andrea and Mona were all teammates in college). As I'm sure you would expect, there was much dancing, loud music, free-flowing wine and other substances that lower your inhibitions. Molly brought some special brownies that she warned everyone not to eat too much of at one time. Also . . . because their house has both a pool and a hot tub, well, there was also considerable nude frolicking (not just me and Molly for a change) -- including normally shy Dana. It may have helped that her mai tai was basically a triple. So that night was totally fun, but we started pretty early and made sure the two brides were tucked in and safe by midnight. Mona and some of their other teammates partied on for several more hours, but I went to bed right after Andrea & Dana did.

THEN the next day dawned and it was a beautiful day from the first. A gift from God. As Mona and I did at our wedding, Andrea & Dana rented a large white canvas tent in case of rain, but there was no need of it, the day was so nice.

Dana was wearing a traditional white wedding dress with veil. I let her wear my long double-strand of pearls for "something old" and she wore a light blue garter, which she flung at the crowd of mostly-lesbian single chicks. Andrea wore a black evening gown that was VERY elegant. Unlike my marriage, Andrea & Dana's was legal because, as you know, Dana is legally male (and if you didn't know that, you have a lot of reading to do). Both Dana's family and Andrea's family were there, of course, and both mothers-of-the-bride wept in happiness and hugged each other afterwards.

After the wedding, there was another party, this one open to all of course. The white tent was used for all the tables and presents and so on. They had a big traditional wedding cake and Jayne, the ceramics artist, made the two little figures on the top of the cake. She made them both out of fired porcelain, and she knew what the dresses would look like, etc, so the little figures basically look just like Andrea & Dana.

Everything went perfectly, and the next day, Andrea and Dana flew to California for their honeymoon. All the guests went home except Molly, who could stay another night. I was glad of that because Mona had to leave on a business trip that she had already delayed because of the wedding.

June 19

So the other day after everyone else left, including Mona, it was just me and Molly. Naturally, we decided to go on a naked hike, but this time she wanted to also go barefoot so we could be 100% nude. We even left behind our rings and hair ties. To enhance our experience, we each took with us one of Molly's magic brownies to eat on the way.

Because we were barefoot and needed reasonably soft terrain, I led her down to the mushy grass along the wetlands to the point where the creek feeds into it. Up the hill from that is a smaller stream that originates at the spring below Jack's house. (He was not home yet, but due in a couple days).

Our brownies were quickly gone, but we were definitely feeling their effect as we were both amazed at the bright green grass and the lavish abundance of wildflowers that seemed so intensely colorful they were practically glowing in the sunshine.

I showed Molly one of my favorite spots on the property -- a little waterfall with a large flat rock that I like to sit on, the cool water flowing around my butt and under my vagina. Mona has told me I am liable to pick up a parasite doing that, but I don't think that is a serious risk. After all, the water that comes out of the spring is drinkable (we had it tested) and all it has done is flow down the hill for a hundred yards or so, and because it is exposed to the sunlight, it gets warmed up by the time it gets to my sitting spot. Molly completely agreed with me and we sat on the rock together, marveling at how good that water felt lapping under and around our vaginas. After enjoying that for a while, we hiked across the field of buffalo grass as water trickled from our wet butts and crotches down our legs.

By the time we got back to the house, the sky had clouded over and it felt like rain. We both adore getting rained on so we went indoors long enough to get one of the bottles of champagne left over from the wedding and two fancy crystal flutes. We sat outside in the Adirondack loveseat, drinking champagne as a light rain began to come down on us and to plink raindrops into our glasses.

The Goddess of Earth could not seem to make up Her mind what She wanted to do on that particular summer evening. The clouds directly above us were dark and heavy with rain, but the western sky was a patchwork of wispy clouds and bits of blue.

Sometimes the sun would break through and shine a narrow ray of light on us while the rain still came down in a million glittering drops all around us. We decided the Goddess probably wanted us to get up and dance whenever She did that. Fueled by weed brownies and half a bottle of champagne mixed with rainwater, we jumped up and danced whenever we got our cue. I was hoping we would get a rainbow as a reward, but then the clouds closed for good and the rain came down harder. Less hardy souls would have run for the house by this point, but Molly and I are not sissies so we rode it out like sailors in a storm.

We outlasted the rain -- and the bottle -- and when we finally came in it was getting dark. The night was still early, but we were both crashing so we went upstairs and climbed in bed. The fact that we were sharing a bed naked was no big deal to either of us because we have spent a lot of time naked together, and it's just normal for us. I quickly fell asleep but woke again around midnight. Now . . . in my defense regarding what happened next, I can only emphasize that: (1) I was still under the influence of both substances, and (2) Molly's body is almost identical to Mona's -- they even smell the same.

You, dear reader, can probably see where this is going. I started caressing and kissing "Mona's" body. This partly woke Molly up, and she (also still under the influence), responded instinctively, and for a couple of minutes we were totally making out. I even had my hand between her legs, caressing the line of her labia and probing for a wet gap to slide my finger in. About one second before such penetration could take place, Molly woke up enough to realize what was going on. She gently pulled my hand away but allowed a little more kissing to take place before (reluctantly, she says) waking me up all the way. When I realized what I had done, I profusely apologized of course, but she said it was the high point of her week and we both ended up laughing about it. Then we realized we were famished because we hadn't eaten any dinner, so we went down to the kitchen in the middle of the night and had wedding leftovers.

In the morning when Mona called, I immediately confessed to her, but she found the whole story hysterical -- especially when Molly started making fake orgasm sounds in the background. I had been pretty sure Mona would be okay with it because we have a really solid relationship and had talked about this very thing. To be clear, we do not have an "open" marriage, and neither of us would decide to intentionally have an actual sexual encounter with anyone else. But we both enjoy flirting with our girlfriends and being a little physical in a way that often includes kissing and playfully touching butts and boobs. We love that aspect of our close friendships, but we also know there's some risk that things can happen that you did not intend. After all, Mona and Andrea have been platonic pals since college yet accidentally had sex a few times when drunk. And when Jayne and I tried to be "just roommates," we only made it a few days before having sex.

Of course, all of that happened before we were with our current partners, but Mona and I acknowledge that it could accidentally happen again one day. If it does, neither of us would be devastated by the simple fact that the other had spontaneous sex with a close friend. It would only be a threat to our marriage if (1) we kept it a secret, (2) we kept doing it, and/or (3) it meant we wanted to be with that other person instead of with each other.

When I explained this to Molly, she said she wished she'd known that before she stopped me, and that if I ever try to stick my finger in her pussy again, she is going to darned well let me.

* * * * *

June 20

The daylilies are all in bloom and as I look out my window, I can see a billion of them all along the garden fence and along the path that goes to Jayne's house. They're everywhere right now, and I will do my best to appreciate them every day while I have them. They are only given a few weeks of the summer to flourish, and then they will be all gone again.

This morning I woke alone in bed with no redheads at all, and my first thought was: I'm ovulating. Nowadays, I usually know, but I took my temperature to confirm it. We knew we were cutting it close this time, but Mona needed to go on that trip and already delayed it once. So I called her and told her I was ovulating, and she said to get Jack over there and "make him work" -- that the two of us could do it ourselves this time.

And of course that was true. Mona is the director of our pregnancy effort and our cheerleader, but I'm the one with the eggs (supposedly) and he's got the sperm so she's the one person in the trio that can miss a "game day." Jack had just gotten back the previous night, and I had not seen him yet, but I called him and told him the situation, and he said he'd be right over. It takes a few minutes to walk from his house to ours, and while I was waiting for him, I found myself feeling oddly nervous, even though we'd already done this many times and I'd been going naked around Jack for three months.

Yet, when I heard him on the porch and opened the door for him, I felt like it was happening for the first time -- as if he had never seen me naked before. As he came inside, I did what I always do: I hugged him and kissed his cheek. And he did what he always does -- and what he knows I like him to do. He gave me a good long look from my eyes down to my toes and back up again, and he told me I certainly looked very pretty today. We had done these actions a hundred times, and yet it seemed both predictable and brand new -- as if throughout time we would always be doing these things. I would always be opening the door naked, and he would always be seeing me naked the first time, and always and forever telling me I look pretty.

As in other months, of course, we knew we'd be making several deposits, and so we went right upstairs to get started with the first one. He took his usual cup and went to work in the bathroom, and I got myself in position, propped upside down on pillows on the bed. Mona usually loads up the turkey baster, so this time I had him do it.

I did the inserting myself, getting it in position, but I couldn't reach the squeeze ball thing, so I asked him to do it. You have to squeeze it repeatedly several times kinda fast and then sort of wiggle the baster a few seconds to make sure you got it all out. Mona has a certain way of doing it, and I had to coach him through this part. But as I did this, it made me giggle because we were technically having sex -- with penetration and ejaculation and the whole bit -- and I was giving him instructions like "faster" and "now wiggle it." He was laughing with me, and it was a beautiful moment, and so very very intimate. And I wanted it to be intimate. I wanted him to be seeing me this way. We both laughed again when I said, "You can pull it out now," and when I caught my breath, I added, "Now get out of here so I can have an orgasm."

He took his cup and the baster and left the room, and I attended to my task -- probably setting a speed record. So, I was done when he was at the door asking if he could come in now. I said sure and patted the mattress next to me. I still had my legs and butt up against the wall because I have to stay in that position for 15 minutes. He sat on the bed, propped up against the headboard next to me, and we held hands, him right side up and me upside down.

It's an emotional thing -- trying to have a baby this deliberate, planned way -- because every time you think "maybe this time is IT." Only it never is, at least not so far. We have been disappointed many times, and we talked about that. I cried, but I always cry -- the tears running down my temples and into my hair -- and he got a little choked up too. We're quite a pair, him and me, cause we have this Spiritual Thing going on. Mona is usually our reality check, reminding us that this may take a while, but with her gone we were both grooving on the Maybe This Time thing.

As always, we did it several times over the next couple days, and each time there was a little less crying and a little more giggling.

* * * * *

June 26

Mona is HOME, and last night I held her all night. At one point I woke up while we were in the spooning position with me on the outside and my right arm draped around her waist, my hand holding one of her boobs. Her wild hair engulfed my head, and I kissed the back of her neck as I gave her nipple a gentle squeeze. She responded with a little moan but was in a deep sleep, and I did not want to wake her. I allowed myself to just caress her nipple a little as it got hard, but as I did that, a doubt came to my mind. I quizzed myself: This WAS Mona, wasn't it? Not Molly again, correct? Are we sure? My brain dutifully replayed for me the memory of picking her up at the airport late because her flight had been delayed, being in the kitchen making her an omelette as she drank scotch, the two of us getting ready for bed. Yes, yes, all of that had happened, and yet I still had one percent of uncertainty because, well, as you know my brain has fucked with me before. I let my hand rest and decided it wouldn't matter whether it was Mona or Molly if I just went back to sleep. So I did.

* * * * *

June 27

I love weekends. On weekdays, Mona takes a quick shower as she is getting ready for work, and I wait to do mine later in the day. But on weekends, we shower together. I like to wash her hair for her and shave her legs. It's sorta one of those submissive things, you know, kinda waiting on her like she is the queen and I am the servant assigned to all these little bodily tasks. In the shower, I kneel down, with the water coming down on my head, and I pay meticulous attention as I shave off every little red hair, almost one at a time. She likes her bush natural, which is fine because she doesn't have much anyways. I trim it a little from the bottom. It is sparser down there, so I have been gradually shaving farther up to expose her more while leaving most of her orange-red forest untouched. While I am doing this important work, I give little kisses to the newly shaven places, which, you know, is just part of the quality control process. Gotta check for any faint hint of stubble, and this is best done with your lips. I take my work very seriously. And when I am all done with this task, I kiss her someplace else where no shaving is needed. I take this part pretty seriously too.

Very soon after this we leave the shower and sprawl on the bed without even drying off, and I give her more kisses in the same place, and I settle in for what I hope will be the long haul, my nose in her curly red hair, still wet from the shower, and I do not mind that this will take a while because most of the time she makes us change positions so that she is the one doing this to me while she does herself with her hand, more efficient that way, and of course she prefers being in complete control, but sometimes she decides to let me do it all myself, and I don't care how long it takes because it is what I want to do and I lose myself in the moment and my nose and chin and lips and tongue all take their turns, doing their part and she holds my head and combs my hair with her fingers and she massages my skull, and she tells me she loves me and that is all I want in life at that moment and it fills me with new passion and that puts her over and and then I have to really hold on because now she is rocking and arching but I am holding on tight like a rodeo cowboy on a bucking horse and then she is done and I crawl up to kiss her face and we roll on our sides and she squeezes me tight against her body and kisses me deeply tasting herself in my mouth and her hand is between my legs, and we both know I will not take nearly so long as she did.

And boy, we are right.