Libby's Journal - July

July 5

We spent the July 4 holiday at my Mom's house and had a big family gathering. Three of my four big sisters either live nearby or close enough to easily visit. Grandma was completely back to normal and made three desserts plus her world-famous crockpot mac & cheese.

Mona and I stayed with Mom and Anna, but nowadays the family gatherings are usually at my sister Emily's house because she has more room for all the kids to run and play.

And when I say "all the kids" I mean including me, of course. Aunt Libby is always pulled into whatever the kids are doing, whether it is kickball or performing a dress-up performance of a fairy tale (I am usually the witch so I can indulge in over-acting).

But we only resort to theatre when the weather is uncooperative. This time of year, when it is hot out, the chosen activity usually involves water balloons so I had packed extra clothes for that contingency.

I'm glad the kids always want me to be part of their games, but I keep expecting them to out-grow that so I never presume. I was hanging with the adults in the kitchen discussing world affairs and fashion trends until several of the kids tracked me down, pulling me by the arm outside.

We divided into two teams and proceeded to load up our arsenals by filling balloons and water guns. For fairness, both sides had one each of the high-tech "super-soaker" water rifles. And so, the battle was engaged and we hunted each other all over the backyard like commandos. Eventually, the war elevated to DEFCON status and the supposedly banned garden hose was employed illegally by one side, but the other side gained control of the weapon and retaliated without mercy. Both sides claimed victory while sustaining a 100 percent casualty rate.

As always, I had a wonderful time and completely forgot I was technically one of the grownups.

* * * * *

July 8

Sometimes at night I can't sleep. Mona sleeps well, and usually I do too, but not always. We both sleep naked and most nights we have a little sex. It takes more effort for her to have an orgasm, and I am ALWAYS ready to put in that effort, but often she does not want to at that time of night. We like having sex early in the evening or in the afternoon on weekends, and that's when she will let me climb between her legs and put my all into it. But at bedtime, she just likes to make love to me. We will hold each other and kiss, and our hands will be between each other's legs. Even if I have already had a couple orgasms earlier in the evening, she can nearly always pop another one out of me in no time.

I always want to do her, of course, but somehow she is usually satisfied in some symbiotic way after I have come, and she will pull my hand away. Now she is ready to sleep and we will hold each other, our warm bodies intertwined, and then I can tell by her breathing that she is already asleep.

Sometimes I quickly fall asleep too, but other times my mind is racing. I will look at the clock and it is 1 a.m. and then 2 a.m. By this point, Mona has sometimes rolled over, away from me, and I am alone on my side of the bed ... wide awake. So I slip gently out of bed and tiptoe out of the room and down the stairs. I am not a heavy drinker and typically have no more than one glass of wine all evening. But when I can't sleep, I will make myself a strong vodka tonic and chug it down in the kitchen.

Then I will go out to the dining room where there is lots of space and I will dance. I don't need music because it is in my head. I just need to burn off some energy so I do me a few minutes of metal head-bangin' dancing, throwing my hair back and forth to the music I hear in my brain.

After 15 minutes or so of this, something will click in my head and I will know I'm done. Then I will go back to bed and fall right asleep.

But last night, Mona woke up before I was done and came looking for me and she saw me in my crazy-frenzied silent dancing, but I didn't see her because my eyes were closed, and I didn't hear her because the music in my head was too loud. She put her hand on my back and I opened my eyes. The music was suddenly gone, but I felt a rush of overwhelming emotion in its place -- embarrassment that Mona had found me this way, fear that maybe I was going crazy again, gratitude that even if I did go crazy she wouldn't leave me -- and I threw my arms around her and cried and cried, just sobbing, but unable to tell her why. She held me in her strong arms for a long while, saying soothing things in my ear, and then she led me up to bed and I must have fallen asleep before my head touched the pillow.

* * * * *

July 12

I still go to that book group I mentioned earlier. It is mostly a social thing. We only spend about half the time on the book itself because we also have food, wine and sinful dessert while talking about other things. When I first joined, I told them some things about myself -- mostly focusing on my pregnancy effort and my bipolar issues. But one of the girls is also friends with Jayne, and so she knew about my blog where I discuss other things also. By my second or third meeting, everyone knew about me also being a naturist and so there was some teasing about when I was going to start showing up for book club naked. These all happen to be straight women with husbands and kids, so obviously I wasn't going to do it in that environment. But then, of course, everyone started asking whether I would do it when it was my turn to host. I was being pretty cautious, as I tend to be, and said I had been planning to wear clothes because I didn't want anyone to be uncomfortable. But then every single woman in the group told me I should just do whatever I personally wanted to do because they were all totally fine with it, so I told them I would.

When I made that commitment, I was in a really confident mood, riding another high in my bipolar cycle. But then, a few days before the event, I had my low point, which was mild as low points go, but still, I was feeling much less confident. I fretted that perhaps I will see in their eyes that they are just tolerating me because they know, after all, that I am mentally ill, and although they probably wish I would just cover up for god's sake, they don't let on for fear of crushing my needy ego.

By the time the day actually arrived, I was on my way back up again, but still closer to the bottom than the top, so I felt a bit nervous and insecure, but told myself it would be fine because I already knew all those girls and felt very comfortable in that group. Mostly, I was just focused on my dinner and dessert plans.

But then, there was a new twist. Out of the blue, Mona heard from two old friends, Jules and BB, who were on a cross-country motorcycle trip and were passing through our area that day. Naturally, Mona invited them to stay with us. I could only hear her end of the conversation, and I could tell it was a bad connection because she was speaking loudly and having to repeat herself as she gave them directions to our house (which takes a bit of explaining). As they were wrapping up the call, Mona started saying how eager she was for them to meet me, and she said all kinds of sweet things before squeezing in the important little factoid that I was a naturist.

After the call ended, Mona told me all about these old pals of hers, but I was worried that they might not have heard that last bit. Plus, now I had to factor in two more people for dinner. Mona knows me better than I know myself sometimes, and she told me not to bother cooking because she'd go get takeout from our favorite restaurant, and I could focus on dessert. I was easily talked into that idea and used the free time to have a relaxing hot bath instead of a quick shower.

As the time approached, Mona called in the food order and soon left to pick it up. But THEN, not five minutes after Mona LEFT to go get the food, there was a buzz on the security gate down by the road, and it was Jules and BB -- 45 minutes early! There was nothing I could do except buzz them in and tell them to follow the driveway back to the second house. I went outside to meet them, standing there so very naked in the sunshine, watching them pull up. They were not wearing helmets, so I could see their faces. They were grinning, but did not look shocked, so I figured they must have heard her okay. They parked and turned off the engine, and then they dismounted like cowgirls and sauntered over to me politely, both of them working hard to maintain eye contact.

So, we all just introduced ourselves to each other, and they apologized for being so early, and I said it was no trouble at all, and of course it was understandable since they were traveling through town and had to guess at their arrival time. And I explained that Mona was getting the food and some more people were coming over, etc. During this exchange, I was leading them inside and back towards the kitchen, where I offered them drinks and freshened mine up. I was really, really so very much aware of my nudity. Sometimes when I am around the people I'm closest to, I almost forget I'm naked because it has become so normal, but these two chicks were brand new to me -- and I to them, of course -- and they took turns each looking down at my body whenever I was making eye contact with the other. And I liked that because, you know, I appreciate being appreciated. And also, that jolt of liquor was having the right effect on me, and I was relaxing into the situation. I busied myself with small tasks in the kitchen that would require me to break eye contact, so they could look at me because I wanted them to. I reached for things I didn't need on high shelves and bent to get things I didn't need from low shelves.

Then, Mona came home and hugged her friends and then gave me a long, slow kiss in front of them, which was also pretty stimulating. And then suddenly, the intercom was buzzing again and the book group chicks started arriving. I stood at the top of the drive, waving them over to the parking area. They all got out of their cars and gathered around me. And they all made such a nice fuss over me, telling me I'm so pretty and that if they had a body like mine, they'd go naked too, etc, etc. I found it interesting that the beer-drinking butch biker chicks had been way more reserved in what they said. Meanwhile, these sophisticated, debutant-mannered library volunteers were the ones telling me how fine I looked naked. I was quite happy with both types of attention.

Needless to say, I had a wonderful evening. We all had dinner and then Mona and her buddies sat out on the deck while the rest of us gathered in the living room to talk about the book.

And it went fine, and then eventually it was over and I led the the book group girls across the deck so they could say goodbye to Mona, Jules and BB, and then I walked them out to where their cars were parked. Every girl gave me a hug, and each time I felt their hands on my back or my waist. It was all normal and no one touched me anywhere else, but I was so electrified by each innocuous touch of their hands on my bare skin.

By this point, Mona and her pals were several beers in, and they were all thrilled to have me join their little party. We went inside, and Mona had me sit with her in one of the big easy chairs, and she kept her hands on me as the conversation went on. I was a teeny bit on yellow alert because Mona has been known to get gropey in front of company after she has had a few drinks. I don't mind that when it's just our closest friends watching, but I didn't want it to happen in this instance and kept my legs casually crossed. As long as her hands stayed away from regions that would be covered by a very small bikini, I was happy to have the touch, and I was happy to have these women I barely knew watching it happen.

Around midnight, we showed them to the guest room, and then Mona and I went to our own bedroom, where Mona quickly popped three orgasms out of me.

* * * * *

July 16

We've had another dry spell, so every evening I've been watering all my gardens. This morning, the weatherman said there was a 30 percent chance of rain, but I don't get my hopes up for no piddly 30 percent.

After I was done watering, I did a little weeding. My body wanted something more substantial to do, but this time of year, there isn't much that needs doing -- so I came up with something. This past April, I had a truckload of mulch delivered, but the truck was too big to go across the narrow bridge behind Jayne and Margot's house, and they had to dump it there. So back then, when I was getting my gardens ready for Spring, I hauled wheelbarrow after wheelbarrow up the hill to my gardens. I only did half the pile and left the rest for Autumn.

Since I didn't have any other work to do today, I decided to get a head start on that. It's too early to put it on the gardens, but I could start hauling and making new piles up here. So I took my wheelbarrow down the hill and got started. Fortunately, mulch is not as heavy as dirt -- because it's a long way to push a wheelbarrow uphill over and over and over again.

The sun was beating down on me, and the humid air made me sweat, but I just kept going. Mona and Andrea work in offices exercising their brains, so they need all those weights and machines to simulate "work." I like getting my exercise doing real work like this, though the downside is the pay isn't as good.

Anyways, I was just getting to the point of thinking I'd take a break to throw myself in the pool when the sun went behind clouds, and I felt a breeze on my sweaty skin, and Mother Earth whispered in my ear that She was going to rain on me soon.

So I skipped the pool break and went down for another load, and then another. And then finally I felt it -- a single raindrop on my back. And then another. Soon it was sprinkling, not hard but steady. I could tell it was going to last a while. So I just kept working, pushing that wheelbarrow up the hill again and again for another hour or two as the rain came down on me all afternoon.

It occurs to me, perhaps belatedly, that some of my readers may have gotten bored halfway through this entry and were hoping I was at least working my way to some profound point or maybe a dramatic wheelbarrow accident. But no, sorry, that was actually the whole story. I really enjoyed the experience, but it's probably boring to just read about. Gosh, I suppose if I hadn't spent all that time on that part of my day, I might have described the part later on when I was in the kitchen getting dinner going and heard the bell that meant Mona's car was coming through the gate so I went out the back door and stood under the broken downspout until I was all wet again and went back in the kitchen just in time to greet her all drippy because that always turns her on . . . but I'm afraid we're out of time.

* * * * *

July 19:

Some of you have already heard about the bit of drama we had the other night in which Mona proved once again she is a Total Badass. It was very exciting and fortunately was over so quickly I did not have time to fret about her getting hurt.

For those who don't know Mona personally, she only weighs about 125 pounds but is all muscle except for her boobs. In addition to years of playing sports and lifting weights, she has done kickboxing, mixed martial arts, and trained to defend herself against someone twice her size. Because a larger, stronger opponent tends to have the advantage as a fight goes on, Mona always says a woman defending herself against a man has to make her first move really count.

Okay, enough suspense -- here's what happened:

Mona and I drove into the city to have dinner with another female couple, one of whom Mona had met at work. These were very cute girls in their early 20s -- Heather and Halsey. One was African-American and quite dark-skinned, while the other girl was a blonde with pale skin, but in all other respects, they were identical -- adorable, bubbly little ballerina-sized girls who were obviously in love.

I was in a silly-happy mood myself and so our booth was very giggly and that got the attention of some dumbass drunk dudes who took turns trying to come over and chat us up. Mona politely but firmly made it clear to the first guy that we were not interested, but they treated this rejection as a "hard-to-get" challenge. When the second dude came over, I told him they were wasting their time because we were all lesbians, but as soon as I said that I knew that for this particular type of drunken male this would only turn them on and convince them that we'd change our minds about our orientation if we only understood how impressive their penises were.

Mona, I should mention, was a teeny bit drunk because I had volunteered to be the designated driver. She is NOT one of those people who become jerks when they drink, but it does lower her normal inhibition against getting into confrontations with people who ARE jerks.

So instead of just ignoring the dudes, she started talking loudly about a "study" she supposedly read about men with teeeeny-tiny dicks and how you could tell a dude had a teeny dick by how he acted towards women. And every time she said "teeny" she would drag the word out and hold up her finger and thumb spaced an inch apart. People at other tables nearby were hearing this and laughing.

We were all done and getting ready to leave and as we got up and started walking towards the bar to pay up, Mona hung back so she was last and gave the guys the finger as we passed them. I was looking back and saw this, and then I saw one of the guys get up and follow her.

He was calling something after her that I could not quite make out, but everyone in the restaurant heard the last two words of his sentence, which were "stupid bitch." As he reached out and put his hand on her shoulder to stop her from walking away from him, I knew what was about to happen. The next few seconds played out like an action movie where they go in slow motion, because as Mona turned back to face him, she threw all her weight into the swing, and her fist hit him square on the nose. Blood splattered in all directions, still in slow motion, as the momentum of her punch sent him flying backwards, falling over a chair and landing hard on his back. Then time went normal again and everyone in the bar applauded.

Mona, perfectly calm, casually wiped the blood off her knuckles with a napkin and handed our ticket to the cashier but the owner walked by and snatched it, calling "on the house" as he went out to check on his other customer who was sitting on the floor holding his face.

Mona put two twenties in the tip jar and said to the cashier, "Sorry about the mess."

* * * * *

Today is one of those really humid days when you start to sweat five minutes after you walk out the door. But that's okay. I am comfortable in most kinds of weather.

Although going naked in cold weather is probably just something I do because I'm crazy, there are practical benefits to going naked when it is hot. The whole point of sweat is to cool off your body as it dries on your skin, but when you have cloth on your body, it becomes wet and doesn't dry as fast.

I really don't mind sweating, except when it gets in my eyes, so I usually wear a hat or a bandana tied around my head. Often when I get all sweaty, but still have work to do, I will jump in the pool or spray myself off with the hose and then go back to work. But if I am all done with whatever crazy task I have assigned myself, I will just spray the mud off my feet and go inside, headed to the shower. If I am lucky, Mona will suddenly appear in front of me naked also, and we will embrace.

We have always enjoyed each other's sweat, as I assume most couples do. Sometimes you get sweaty together during sex, of course. That's nice, but I also like it when you experience your partner's sweat when she is doing other things. For example, when I go to Mona's basketball games and hug her afterwards, I love burrowing my face in her sweaty neck. But of course, in situations like that, we are out in public, so even if we get turned on, there's nothing we can do about it.

But when we are home and no one else is around, then any random sweaty hug will likely become sexual because it is such an aphrodisiac to us both. Mona does most of her sweating during competitive sporting events, so when it happens at home, it's usually me -- either because I have been working outdoors or dancing like a crazy person. Sometimes it is just regular party dancing, but other times in the evenings, I just have too much energy and need to burn it off before I can think of going to bed. This has been happening more often in recent times, and I know it is probably because as part of my pregnancy effort, I have been off of Depakote for half a year so my bipolar symptoms may have started getting a little wilder again. It sneaked up on me gradually and I didn't notice, but Mona did. It's actually a good sign because I have had no worsening of my low points, but my high points are getting a bit more frenzied -- which is still quite manageable. Mona can always tell as it gets closer to bedtime if I am still too energetic, so she will put on music and we will both dance for a while.

Being a normal sane person, Mona will stop after a bit while I keep going. She will go freshen up her drink and tend to end-of-day tasks as she keeps an eye on me as I get it out of my system. During that break, she will also take off her clothes and get ready for bed, and then when I see her walking towards me naked with a glass of water, I will stop dancing and gulp down the water as sweat rolls down my body. Then she will embrace me, rubbing her face and breasts against my body to share my sweat. This is guaranteed to turn us both on tremendously, and we will work our way upstairs to bed. Sometimes we don't make it that far, and I will have an orgasm on the floor or the stairs or any handy piece of furniture. She likes pushing me down on the dining room table, but we have learned to be careful about that move because when I am sweaty, I nearly slide off the other side.

* * * * *

July 25

Although twice every day I hike down to the security gate for the newspaper and the mail, that is only a few hundred yards, so most days I also go for a longer hike around the property. My longest route, following the perimeter of the whole property, is probably seven or eight miles. I do that once or twice a week, but I also have several shorter walks. I don't have to announce to my dogs that I'm going because they keep tabs on me, and if I am gone for more than five minutes, they come looking for me. I don't always see them, but I know they're shadowing me in the woods somewhere and will pop up now and then along the way. One time when I was hiking on a steep area leading down to the creek, I slipped and had a rough tumble. I wasn't really hurt but got scraped up (a disadvantage of hiking naked), and my dogs were by my side in seconds.

Usually, I go on these walks alone, but sometimes I have company. When she is here, Molly is my most reliable naked walking companion because she is always ready to go no matter what the weather. She and I are also compatible in how fast we walk (not very) and how often we like to just sprawl in the sun and look at the clouds for a while.

Mona will go with me on the weekends, but she likes the longer walks and treats it more as exercise than I do. She will often go topless, but nearly always wears shorts. On those rare occasions when she sets out on a hike completely naked, I know she is in a randy mood and that we will definitely be having sex on the grass partway through. Those are my favorite walks.

Jayne has gone with me a few times, but only on shorter walks because she is a bit of a tenderfoot. She is comfortable hanging out naked indoors or near the house, but out in the woods, she gets preoccupied with fears of bugs and poison ivy. The last time Mom and Aunt Anna visited, the three of us took a naked walk way down to the wetlands.

Perhaps surprisingly, Dana has gone on several naked hikes with me. Their house is closer to the road like Jayne and Margot's, but farther down, and they don't share our driveway. So to get there, we have a footpath that leads to the back of their property (with a keycode gate). Dana's job is on a four-day schedule so she's usually home on Fridays. Often, I will walk over to visit her, and sometimes she is in the mood to go with me on a naked walk.

One time recently that I forgot to write about, we took a nice walk and ended up at my house, drinking vodka tonics in the pool. We completely lost track of the time and were surprised when Mona got home (at her regular time). Fridays are also the day when our usual group of six girls gets together at my house for dinner -- which meant the others would be arriving any minute.

I got to work in the kitchen -- still dripping wet from the pool -- while Dana called Andrea to let her know she was already here, and to ask Andrea to bring her some clothes. Meanwhile, Margot and Jayne showed up and got a kick out of the situation. They see me naked all the time, of course, but normally only see Dana that way when we are all naked together in the pool. She used to be too shy even for that, but nowadays she's comfortable within this small group. But in all previous occasions, everyone was nude. This was the first time Dana was nude when the others were dressed.

Then Andrea arrived and -- surprise -- she had "forgotten" to bring Dana any clothes. What a shock. Obviously, I could have offered her something to wear, but I was hoping she'd decide she didn't want me to. This was confirmed when she came giggling into the kitchen, pursued by everyone else, and I could see in her eyes that she wanted it to continue. It helped that she was already a bit drunk. She is barely 100 pounds so a couple of vodka tonics go a long way.

I had not even started dinner, but was only making a pizza that I had already prepared so all we had to do was preheat the oven and bake it. That took about 15 minutes, during which Andrea and Mona conspired to keep Dana's glass full.

We had good music on and I was dancing there in the kitchen, and then pretty soon everyone was dancing, including Dana, who had forgotten she was shy. When the pizza was done, we didn't bother sitting down at the table, but just left our plates lined up on the counter, and each came back when we wanted a bite. Of course, we got our plates all mixed up, but that didn't matter because all of our germs got acquainted a long time ago.

I made them stop giving Dana more booze because I was afraid she was either going to get sick or else not remember it in the morning (and I wanted her to remember). And besides, she was already at just the right point of inebriation to have a good time -- which she did for another hour or so and then fell asleep on the couch. We offered to drive them home, but Andrea said there was no need. We got Dana vertical, half awake and grinning, and then big, strong Andrea swept her off her feet and carried her out the door and down the footpath leading to their back gate.

* * * * *