I have never quite understood why straight guys are so into lesbians. It seems counter-intuitive to me that dudes would be so attracted to the specific women who -- by definition -- are not going to be attracted to them back.

The stereotype explanation, of course, is that every guy thinks his lesbian crush would realize the error of her ways if she would just give him a chance to show her what she has been missing. Such guys do exist, sadly, but they do not seem to be the majority of the demographic. Most dudes who broach this topic to me (and they literally all do eventually), deny having that view themselves. They just find it, you know, interesting, and, um, so, they are just, you know, curious about . . . the lesbian lifestyle . . . and stuff.

I find this kind of cute -- as long as they act polite and are not a-holes. So for them, here are some answers to your burning questions about lesbian sex:

Q: What, specific things do you and Mona do to each other when you make love?

A: We like variety, so we do different things with our hands and mouths. I like it when we are just doing each other with our hands because we can kiss during that. I can easily have an orgasm that way, but Mona needs something different. Our most reliable "missionary position" is with me on my back and her doing me orally while she lays on her stomach with her hand down between her legs doing herself.

Q: So she is doing you and herself at the same time?

A: Yeah, I used to feel a little guilty about that, but that's what always works for her. She is a control-freak and it's what she prefers, so who am I to argue?

Q: And is Mona good at it?

A: Oh, you bet! I had a reasonable amount of experience before we met (though, from what I've heard, my body count was actually lower than average), and I considered myself pretty good at sex, but the first night I spent with Mona was like getting called up to the majors! And it's not because she has some fancy "technique," but that she is genuinely passionate, as I am, and we are both really aware of what the other is feeling so we can just let ourselves go. All I can say is it's a good thing I shave my pubic area because, well, she is just all over the place down there.

Q: Where do you like to do it?

A: We're not too exotic in that regard and mainly like having sex in our bed where it is comfortable. However, we often get started elsewhere and have to work our way upstairs.

For example, when Mona gets home from work, I am usually in the kitchen preparing dinner. And, of course, I'm usually naked, so when we kiss in greeting she will put her hands on me, and it's pretty common for me to have a quick orgasm there in the kitchen. Sometimes that's all we do for the time being, especially if we are expecting dinner guests, but other times I will turn off the stove and we will do more. We might start working our way upstairs, but along the way, I might have another orgasm on the dining room table or on the stairs. I can have orgasms pretty easily, so most any location will do, but it takes longer for Mona and the bed is her preferred location.

My favorite non-bed location is outside on the grass, especially when there's a gentle rain. Also, we have this really nice thing we do in the pool.

Q: Yes, yes? Go on!

A: Well, it is really just a variation on our regular position, but I'm floating on my back in the pool with my arms hooked around one of those barbell-shaped floaty things. And Mona is standing shoulder-deep and she lifts my butt up and puts my legs around her neck, and she moves in a circle and that makes me float in a circle and I look at the sky and the clouds and feel the sun on me and, well, it is a really nice way to do it.

Q: So, do you only receive oral sex and not give it?

A: Of course I give it. Jeez. It just takes longer for her, but I'm content to do it as long as she wants, and I love looking up through her red pubic hair up her body to watch her face. But sometimes she can't actually come this way, so (at her prompting) we switch places and she does me while fingering herself as described above, and bang we both come, often at the same time because she says hearing me come pushes her over the top.

The other way in which we can usually come together is the good old 69 position. This proves God is female because she designed us to be able to do that. As sexual experiences go, it's hard to beat giving and receiving oral sex at the same time because the sensation of receiving makes you really really into doing the giving. My whole face wants to be involved, and I love getting my nose way in there so I will smell her all day. This takes a little practice, like swimming, so that you don't breathe in at the wrong time and drown. The only disadvantage is that I can't see Mona's face while we are doing it, but I get to see something else. Although neither of us has ever had any interest in anal sex, I do like the intimacy of seeing it so close when we are having sex in that way.

Q: Are you sure you're not missing out on something great by not having, you know, a big hard penis involved?

A: Gosh, thank you for your concern, but I'm fine, really. I actually do have sexual experience with a dude -- Jack, my college boyfriend and the first person of either gender that I had sex with. We mainly did intercourse and I enjoyed it, always having an orgasm. He was pretty good at giving oral sex too, but I didn't like giving it to him. I tried it a couple of times, and although it was fun feeling it grow, once it was hard I didn't like the feel of it in my mouth -- and I sure as heck didn't want it going off in there. This, of course, was a big fat clue regarding my orientation, but I had it in my head that oral sex was just foreplay, and neither of us needed much foreplay.

When I started having sex with girls, I realized that if you make clit stimulation the main event instead of just foreplay it can be WAY more satisfying than intercourse. Even now, Mona and I are completely content with that kind of sex 95% of the time. But yes, l will confess to you that once in a while I DO have the jones for the sensation of having a big hard penis pumping away inside of me . . . but when I am in that mood, Mona simply gets a big rubber one out of her bedside drawer and straps it on. It is very dependable and has never explained to us sheepishly that it has been under a lot of stress lately.

Q: Ouch! Yeah, well that never happens to me.

A: If you say so.

Q: Wait, you use a strap-on?

A: Not often -- once a month or so. We now call it "Mr. Microphone" because one time, after using it for its intended purpose, Mona was taking it off, and a song came on the radio that she likes singing along to, and she spontaneously held it up and sang into it like a microphone, which it kinda looks like. It is natural looking (circumcised) and is soft and rubbery on the surface -- a very expensive, top-of-the-line model, you know.

We sometimes get out Mr. Microphone after we have already had a couple orgasms each. Since our standard ways of having sex focus on clit stimulation, then for variety it is then kinda nice to have some significant penetration and hit a different erogenous zone than usual. I always prefer clit stimulation, so a dildo is never my first preference. But if you have already done it several times it is nice to make that switch.

Mona is nearly always the one wearing it, of course, but every once in a while I get a bee in my bonnet and just want to be the one on top for a change. The one wearing it does get a little clit stimulation out of it, so if you are wearing it right you can potentially have an orgasm too.

Q: Since you stay naked when your friends visit, does anything sexual happen?

A: I guess it depends on how one defines that. Some people might say that Mona and I always behave sexually at our parties because I am always naked and she is always touching me in some way. But that can be casually sexy without necessarily being sexual.

For example, if we're just standing around talking, her arm will be around my waist, her hand often caressing my butt cheek. Or when we're sitting together on the couch, I will be reclined against her body, and she will have her arms around me. One hand might be casually on my inner thigh while the other is resting close enough to a boob to give it a little touch now and then. She knows she is not supposed to do much beyond that, and she is pretty well-behaved -- until she has a few drinks in her. After that, I have to be more on guard because she will start getting more handsy, and it becomes a game that our little audience is in on.

Admittedly, I am addicted to that kind of attention and will sometimes be a little slow at my defenses, allowing one of her tactical maneuvers to briefly achieve its goal. But after a few seconds, I will cross my legs or reposition her roving hand. She always accepts my corrections, though she will try again later, and we are both content in knowing it is entirely up to me how far I will let her go.

The "how far" part depends on who is in the group and where I am on my bipolar cycle. If it's just our closest friends and I am grooving on mania, well . . . yes, sometimes things happen that meet the definition of "sexual." One of those times was two days ago as I write this (which is what prompted me to finally answer this particular question).

I had been out of town for several days, and so Mona and I had been physically apart for longer than we are used to. The day I got home, we went directly to our bedroom and started making up for lost time, but we only had about an hour before our friends came over for our usual Friday get-together. I was thrilled to be home again and was feeling my mania meter clicking steadily up towards my high point.

Andrea, Dana, Jayne and Margot arrived with pizza and a flurry of welcome-home hugs and kisses. We ate and drank and danced and laughed, and I felt ecstatic. Mona and I were still horny from our unfinished reunion, and by the time she was chewing the ice of her third vodka tonic, she was giving me her classic "bull in heat" expression. I was giddily manic and in the mood to wave my red cape at her. So, I started telling Margot and Andrea about my Mother Earth dream. The others had already heard this but indulged me because it is such a sexy story, and they knew I wanted to describe all the exquisitely erotic little details.

As I was thus engaged, Mona came up behind me and reached around to hold my boobs. That is something I nearly always let her do in front of this group. I continued describing the dream as Mona lifted my arms and put them behind my head so she could glide her hands up and down my front. This was also something we had done before, and I laced my fingers behind her neck as I chattered on. The next thing that we all knew would happen would be that she'd travel down below and try to put her finger in me, and I would pretend to be surprised and let her do it for two seconds and then wiggle away giggling, and that would be it.

Only that's not what I did this time. I had already decided I would just let her do whatever she tried to do. When Mona got her finger wet and I made no move to stop her, she immediately turned her attention to my clitoris -- and I still did not stop her. Her other hand was squeezing one of my breasts, and she was kissing my neck, and I let it all keep happening. I just concentrated on keeping my eyes open and continuing to tell the story, increasingly interrupted by moans, as the girls watched us with their mouths hanging open. And oh, I wanted them to be watching, and I watched them back, making significant eye contact with each girl in turn. So yes, this was a sexual moment, but it only lasted about 20 seconds before events hurtled to their inevitable conclusion. Heck, I barely got to the part about the red-haired water nymph.

Q: Do you consider yourself a "naturist' or a "nudist" or an "exhibitionist"?

A: I'm not sure about the terminology, but I like to be naked most of the time. I like to be naked out in Nature, I like to be naked going about my normal indoor chores and tasks. And yes, I especially love being naked around people who love seeing me naked. It is, I suppose, a vanity of mine, but I admit to it.

One thing I'm not is the kind of nudist who goes to a resort and hangs out with lots of other nude people, including kids and old people, and nobody considers it a sexy experience. I prefer it when I'm the only one naked and the people I'm around are women, particularly other lesbians. I don't mind if a small percentage of male persons are in the mix, provided they are chaperoned and well-trained. And yes, I admit that the enjoyment I get within these groups could be described as "exhibitionism."

However, I really dislike that word because it has bad connotations -- suggesting you are flashing strangers without their consent or something, which is the exact opposite of what I do. I only go naked around people who know I do this and who want me to do it.

But once that is established, then YES, I get tremendous pleasure out of the fact that other people enjoy seeing me naked. I do feel sexy being naked around people, but I don't strike sexy poses or call attention to my nakedness in a sexual manner. I am like the pretty girl in the short skirt who knows she is the center of attention at the party, but who is doing her best not to let that fact go to her head.